Parenting Advice – Actions For Raising Tomorrow’s Citizens Today
Beverly OMalley asked:
We all want parenting advice that provides us with the tools we need to raise happy healthy children.
Good parenting does not result from using a standardized recipe or cookie cutter approach to the many challenges our offspring present to us. Good parenting really comes from learning as you go.
Ask yourself, “What kind of adults do I want my children to be?” and then set about to create the circumstances that will allow that to happen. You want your children to be “happy” but if you focus on making your children happy you will not be providing them with the skills they need to create their own happiness.
What you need to be doing is raising your children to be responsible, reliable, and productive adults.
Here are some parenting tips on how to raise responsible, reliable, and productive citizens for tomorrow’s society.
Let your children make mistakes – your child can never learn how to make a good decision if he is not allowed to make a bad one. As the parent you have more wisdom and knowledge about risk and it is your responsibility to assess the possible risk and consequences of a bad decision. Give your child the responsibility for making decisions that have consequences which are of low risk and age appropriate. Parents need to give over the responsibility of decision making and control to the child. This needs to be timed properly not only for the child’s age level but also by the child’s individual maturity level and trustworthiness.
Do not rescue your children from the consequences of their own mistakes. If your child harms someone else with her actions she needs to apologize and if she breaks someone else’s property then she needs to replace it. This can start with children when they are very young. If your child is never connected to the consequences of her own actions she can never develop a sense of responsibility and accountability for what she does. Your child has to make reparations for harm they caused someone else and it is highly recommended that you are involved in that reparation but only in a way that assists her. Your child should be involved from start to finish in carrying out the necessary apology or actions needed to make things right again.
Let your child see you make mistakes but more importantly let your child hear you talk about them and identify why that decision was wrong and what you learned from it. Then do not make the same mistake again! If you do not change your behaviour as a result of what you have learned your child will identify your insincerity and lack of integrity very quickly and know that your statements are meaningless. In short he will learn that you “talk the talk” but you do not “walk the walk”. Your child does not learn from your mistakes, your child learns by seeing you learn from your mistakes. Engaging your child in rationale analysis of why things went wrong will help them to develop skills of critical inquiry that will serve them well in adult life.
Take responsibility for your own mistakes. Most things that happen to you in life are the result of your own actions. If your child sees you taking responsibility she is less likely to see herself as a victim of circumstance and are more likely to feel empowered and in control of her own life.
Apologize when you are wrong. You cannot and should not expect yourself to be perfect. If you were wrong in your judgement say so. “I am so sorry I yelled at you like that, it was very unkind and I apologize. However, you did not follow the rules and so the punishment still stands.”
Teach your child how to ask for help. Perhaps the greatest life skill you can teach your child is that nobody can do everything by themselves all the time. We spend so much time trying to raise independent citizens of tomorrow we forget to teach our children how to ask for help. In order to be productive and positive citizens your child needs to know when he is out of his league and how to seek out help from those who are best equipped to help him. So many problems could be solved so easily if people would just recognize that they have a problem and seek out ways to prevent it from developing into something more complicated.
The best common sense parenting advice for raising your children to be reliable responsible adults? Be a good role model.
Like it or not your children will quite likely grow up to be just like you but in a slightly different package.
We all want parenting advice that provides us with the tools we need to raise happy healthy children.
Good parenting does not result from using a standardized recipe or cookie cutter approach to the many challenges our offspring present to us. Good parenting really comes from learning as you go.
Ask yourself, “What kind of adults do I want my children to be?” and then set about to create the circumstances that will allow that to happen. You want your children to be “happy” but if you focus on making your children happy you will not be providing them with the skills they need to create their own happiness.
What you need to be doing is raising your children to be responsible, reliable, and productive adults.
Here are some parenting tips on how to raise responsible, reliable, and productive citizens for tomorrow’s society.
Let your children make mistakes – your child can never learn how to make a good decision if he is not allowed to make a bad one. As the parent you have more wisdom and knowledge about risk and it is your responsibility to assess the possible risk and consequences of a bad decision. Give your child the responsibility for making decisions that have consequences which are of low risk and age appropriate. Parents need to give over the responsibility of decision making and control to the child. This needs to be timed properly not only for the child’s age level but also by the child’s individual maturity level and trustworthiness.
Do not rescue your children from the consequences of their own mistakes. If your child harms someone else with her actions she needs to apologize and if she breaks someone else’s property then she needs to replace it. This can start with children when they are very young. If your child is never connected to the consequences of her own actions she can never develop a sense of responsibility and accountability for what she does. Your child has to make reparations for harm they caused someone else and it is highly recommended that you are involved in that reparation but only in a way that assists her. Your child should be involved from start to finish in carrying out the necessary apology or actions needed to make things right again.
Let your child see you make mistakes but more importantly let your child hear you talk about them and identify why that decision was wrong and what you learned from it. Then do not make the same mistake again! If you do not change your behaviour as a result of what you have learned your child will identify your insincerity and lack of integrity very quickly and know that your statements are meaningless. In short he will learn that you “talk the talk” but you do not “walk the walk”. Your child does not learn from your mistakes, your child learns by seeing you learn from your mistakes. Engaging your child in rationale analysis of why things went wrong will help them to develop skills of critical inquiry that will serve them well in adult life.
Take responsibility for your own mistakes. Most things that happen to you in life are the result of your own actions. If your child sees you taking responsibility she is less likely to see herself as a victim of circumstance and are more likely to feel empowered and in control of her own life.
Apologize when you are wrong. You cannot and should not expect yourself to be perfect. If you were wrong in your judgement say so. “I am so sorry I yelled at you like that, it was very unkind and I apologize. However, you did not follow the rules and so the punishment still stands.”
Teach your child how to ask for help. Perhaps the greatest life skill you can teach your child is that nobody can do everything by themselves all the time. We spend so much time trying to raise independent citizens of tomorrow we forget to teach our children how to ask for help. In order to be productive and positive citizens your child needs to know when he is out of his league and how to seek out help from those who are best equipped to help him. So many problems could be solved so easily if people would just recognize that they have a problem and seek out ways to prevent it from developing into something more complicated.
The best common sense parenting advice for raising your children to be reliable responsible adults? Be a good role model.
Like it or not your children will quite likely grow up to be just like you but in a slightly different package.
Parenting Center – to Help You With Best Parenting Tips
Anirban Bhattacharya asked:
Parenting is a vastly important function that’s required to be performed in order to ensure better upbringing of a child. It is necessary for parents to learn the right kind of parenting so as to make the child confident and to face the challenges of life strongly.
Approaching a parenting center would be a wise decision for parents where they will be guided in a right direction as to what are the best ways to up bring a child. The parenting center is completely dedicated to help parents in becoming a successful family guardian.
The parenting center helps with professional counseling, expert parenting advice, educational classes, children management information and co-parenting. Such assistance will help you to become a much more refined and managed parent to build a dynamic personality of your child.
It is a fact that all kids do not behave in a same way. Each kid has different behavioral patterns from the other kid. If some kids are sensitive by nature there are other kids who are aggressive and violent in behavior. The parenting center educates the parents about how they should tackle each child differently.
The parenting centers make you aware of the importance of listening, watching and learning while dealing with your children. The experts of a parenting center will give you parenting advice on dealing with child’s emotional, physical and mental development without building unrealistic expectations from them. Each child has his or her own capabilities, talents and interests. As per true parenting, it is not wise to force your child to become a doctor if he has an interest in painting. The parenting center will guide you to analyze your child’s interest and encourage your child in the same.
Also, one of the common problems faced in a family is communication gap between parents and kids. The experts of the parenting center will give you important tips on how to narrow down this gap in a healthy manner so that your child can express his or her emotions freely before you.
If parents are working, the best parenting advice will get in these centers is how to take some time out of your life so that you can spend some quality time with your kids. The parenting center also organizes camps, classes and work hours from time to time in which the parents can spend a dedicated time with their children.
Parenting is a vastly important function that’s required to be performed in order to ensure better upbringing of a child. It is necessary for parents to learn the right kind of parenting so as to make the child confident and to face the challenges of life strongly.
Approaching a parenting center would be a wise decision for parents where they will be guided in a right direction as to what are the best ways to up bring a child. The parenting center is completely dedicated to help parents in becoming a successful family guardian.
The parenting center helps with professional counseling, expert parenting advice, educational classes, children management information and co-parenting. Such assistance will help you to become a much more refined and managed parent to build a dynamic personality of your child.
It is a fact that all kids do not behave in a same way. Each kid has different behavioral patterns from the other kid. If some kids are sensitive by nature there are other kids who are aggressive and violent in behavior. The parenting center educates the parents about how they should tackle each child differently.
The parenting centers make you aware of the importance of listening, watching and learning while dealing with your children. The experts of a parenting center will give you parenting advice on dealing with child’s emotional, physical and mental development without building unrealistic expectations from them. Each child has his or her own capabilities, talents and interests. As per true parenting, it is not wise to force your child to become a doctor if he has an interest in painting. The parenting center will guide you to analyze your child’s interest and encourage your child in the same.
Also, one of the common problems faced in a family is communication gap between parents and kids. The experts of the parenting center will give you important tips on how to narrow down this gap in a healthy manner so that your child can express his or her emotions freely before you.
If parents are working, the best parenting advice will get in these centers is how to take some time out of your life so that you can spend some quality time with your kids. The parenting center also organizes camps, classes and work hours from time to time in which the parents can spend a dedicated time with their children.
Parenting Advice – What Is Your Job As A Parent?
Deanna Mascle asked:
Parenting is a tough job. All too often we do not come to appreciate just how rough our parents had it until we become parents ourselves. While parenting has always been challenging, it seems that parenting today is even tougher than it was for the generations before ours. I believe that is is more difficult because we are raising our children in a far different world than our parents raised us. For the most part, our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents had a pretty good parenting guide set out for them by watching the other members of their family and the world did not change the greatly from one generation to the next. In addition, previous generations of parents had a strong support system of not only examples but helping hands. Today, our mobile society and high rate of single parenthood (through divorce or from the beginning) have not only destroyed the support system of yesteryear but also created a lot more challenging childhood to parent. In our electronic age we do not lack for parenting advice and parenting tips, but it is so hard to pick and choose from the myriad of “helpful hints” to know just what will work for you and your child. However, just like so many other problems in life we are often our own worst enemies. Whenever the parenting choices get too tough then boil it down in importance by asking yourself one of these three key parenting questions.
First, are you a good role model for your child? You know right from wrong. You know what it means to be an adult. You know what kind of man or woman you hope your child to be when he or she grows up. If you want your child to grow up a certain way then try to give them a role model to follow. Children do as you do, not as you say, my mother always says, and I know this is true from watching my own child as well as my students. If you want your child to be kind then you need to demonstrate kindness. If you want your child to be a good student then model scholarship and demonstrate that you value education. If you want your child to have strong work ethic that show them what it means. You can tell your children you want them to stay in school but if you are a dropout who never pursued a G.E.D. then what message does that send? Our children can learn from our mistakes but too often they simply repeat them unless we show them how to change their life.
Second, are you preparing your child for life and adulthood? Don’t get me wrong. I think children should be allowed to be children. They should have fun and play. All too often today’s child grows up far too soon. I am not talking about talking about *** with your 6-year-old or forcing your 12-year-old to get a job. I mean simply starting when your child is young to teach responsibility, decision-making, and consequences. Start them small with little jobs and little decisions and then as they grow older you can increase the level. If you do too much for your child then they will not be able to do for themselves when they grow older. Also, if you teach your child that life is all fun and games then they are going to be really upset when they discover it is not. I don’t allow my 6-year-old to operate any kitchen equipment without supervision but he can make himself a peanut butter sandwich and pour a glass of milk. He can’t unload the entire dishwasher (and I shudder to think about him putting glassware in a cupboard over his head) but he can put the silverware away.
Finally, are you providing a solid emotional, physical and educational foundation for your child? Remember, your child may well be in charge of your life some day or maybe even in charge of all of our lives (hey somebody’s kid has to be President, why not mine or yours?). Many people with tremendously flawed beginnings grow up to be good people, but why handicap your child that way? No matter how many challenges you face personally it is your job as a parent to provide security and comfort for your child.
I believe that one of the keys to being a good parent is keeping your eyes on the prize. Focus on one universal rule or measuring stick and everything else will get much easier. What measuring stick should you use? That is up to you as this is your life and your child, but the measuring stick my husband and I use is a simple one. We think about what kind of man we want our son to be and apply that goal to the situation at hand. If you focus on being a good role model, preparing your child for life and adulthood, and providing a solid foundation then you are a good parent. Don’t sweat the small stuff if the big stuff is taken care of.
Parenting is a tough job. All too often we do not come to appreciate just how rough our parents had it until we become parents ourselves. While parenting has always been challenging, it seems that parenting today is even tougher than it was for the generations before ours. I believe that is is more difficult because we are raising our children in a far different world than our parents raised us. For the most part, our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents had a pretty good parenting guide set out for them by watching the other members of their family and the world did not change the greatly from one generation to the next. In addition, previous generations of parents had a strong support system of not only examples but helping hands. Today, our mobile society and high rate of single parenthood (through divorce or from the beginning) have not only destroyed the support system of yesteryear but also created a lot more challenging childhood to parent. In our electronic age we do not lack for parenting advice and parenting tips, but it is so hard to pick and choose from the myriad of “helpful hints” to know just what will work for you and your child. However, just like so many other problems in life we are often our own worst enemies. Whenever the parenting choices get too tough then boil it down in importance by asking yourself one of these three key parenting questions.
First, are you a good role model for your child? You know right from wrong. You know what it means to be an adult. You know what kind of man or woman you hope your child to be when he or she grows up. If you want your child to grow up a certain way then try to give them a role model to follow. Children do as you do, not as you say, my mother always says, and I know this is true from watching my own child as well as my students. If you want your child to be kind then you need to demonstrate kindness. If you want your child to be a good student then model scholarship and demonstrate that you value education. If you want your child to have strong work ethic that show them what it means. You can tell your children you want them to stay in school but if you are a dropout who never pursued a G.E.D. then what message does that send? Our children can learn from our mistakes but too often they simply repeat them unless we show them how to change their life.
Second, are you preparing your child for life and adulthood? Don’t get me wrong. I think children should be allowed to be children. They should have fun and play. All too often today’s child grows up far too soon. I am not talking about talking about *** with your 6-year-old or forcing your 12-year-old to get a job. I mean simply starting when your child is young to teach responsibility, decision-making, and consequences. Start them small with little jobs and little decisions and then as they grow older you can increase the level. If you do too much for your child then they will not be able to do for themselves when they grow older. Also, if you teach your child that life is all fun and games then they are going to be really upset when they discover it is not. I don’t allow my 6-year-old to operate any kitchen equipment without supervision but he can make himself a peanut butter sandwich and pour a glass of milk. He can’t unload the entire dishwasher (and I shudder to think about him putting glassware in a cupboard over his head) but he can put the silverware away.
Finally, are you providing a solid emotional, physical and educational foundation for your child? Remember, your child may well be in charge of your life some day or maybe even in charge of all of our lives (hey somebody’s kid has to be President, why not mine or yours?). Many people with tremendously flawed beginnings grow up to be good people, but why handicap your child that way? No matter how many challenges you face personally it is your job as a parent to provide security and comfort for your child.
I believe that one of the keys to being a good parent is keeping your eyes on the prize. Focus on one universal rule or measuring stick and everything else will get much easier. What measuring stick should you use? That is up to you as this is your life and your child, but the measuring stick my husband and I use is a simple one. We think about what kind of man we want our son to be and apply that goal to the situation at hand. If you focus on being a good role model, preparing your child for life and adulthood, and providing a solid foundation then you are a good parent. Don’t sweat the small stuff if the big stuff is taken care of.
Parenting – 10 Things That Will Improve Family Life
English Nanny asked:
10 parenting tips that all parents should implement every day to improve their family’s life and make it easier.
Parenting tip 1
Good parenting is remembering to tell your child you love them and not stopping – even when they so tall that they can look down on you. Do this regardless of how they behave because although you may not like his behavior you do love him.
Parenting tip 2
Speak words of affirmation to your child each day and as soon as they are old enough encourage them to speak these out to themselves. This will help you raise a more positive child which improves family life.
Parenting tip 3
Improve your parenting skills be encourage your child’s independence and tell him what he can do it, rather than what he can’t do. It can often seem quicker to do things for your child but instead leave enough so you child can learn and become more independent
Parenting tip 4
Spend time listening and talking to each child individually, this is the greatest investment you can make in your child’s life. It’s the best way to show them that you love them
Parenting tip 5
Tell you child what you want them to do not what you don’t want them to do. Using this positive parenting method is much more effect and gets the desired results much quicker. Parents if you don’t want your child to leave their clothes on the floor then say ” Please hang your clothes up” instead of “don’t leave your clothes on the floor.”
Parenting tip 6
Give yourself the space to make mistakes you will never be the perfect parent they don’t really exist. You will make mistakes, don’t worry, forgive yourself and learn.
Parenting tip 7
This is parenting advice. Do at least one fun or relaxing thing every day for yourself, this will help to keep you sane and give you a more enjoyable day.
Parenting tip 8
Set up situations daily that will allow your child to make choices, this helps him develop independence and can save you both many arguments. Children as young as 18 months can be given an opportunity to choose.
Parenting tip 9
Keep your boundaries and discipline strategies consistent even if you’re tired. A quick fix today often leads to more problems in the future.
Parenting tip 10
Keep in mind that your child will learn more by example than by what you say so set your child the best examples possible in everything.
Don’t just read these parenting tips put them into practice. Good parenting involves action.
10 parenting tips that all parents should implement every day to improve their family’s life and make it easier.
Parenting tip 1
Good parenting is remembering to tell your child you love them and not stopping – even when they so tall that they can look down on you. Do this regardless of how they behave because although you may not like his behavior you do love him.
Parenting tip 2
Speak words of affirmation to your child each day and as soon as they are old enough encourage them to speak these out to themselves. This will help you raise a more positive child which improves family life.
Parenting tip 3
Improve your parenting skills be encourage your child’s independence and tell him what he can do it, rather than what he can’t do. It can often seem quicker to do things for your child but instead leave enough so you child can learn and become more independent
Parenting tip 4
Spend time listening and talking to each child individually, this is the greatest investment you can make in your child’s life. It’s the best way to show them that you love them
Parenting tip 5
Tell you child what you want them to do not what you don’t want them to do. Using this positive parenting method is much more effect and gets the desired results much quicker. Parents if you don’t want your child to leave their clothes on the floor then say ” Please hang your clothes up” instead of “don’t leave your clothes on the floor.”
Parenting tip 6
Give yourself the space to make mistakes you will never be the perfect parent they don’t really exist. You will make mistakes, don’t worry, forgive yourself and learn.
Parenting tip 7
This is parenting advice. Do at least one fun or relaxing thing every day for yourself, this will help to keep you sane and give you a more enjoyable day.
Parenting tip 8
Set up situations daily that will allow your child to make choices, this helps him develop independence and can save you both many arguments. Children as young as 18 months can be given an opportunity to choose.
Parenting tip 9
Keep your boundaries and discipline strategies consistent even if you’re tired. A quick fix today often leads to more problems in the future.
Parenting tip 10
Keep in mind that your child will learn more by example than by what you say so set your child the best examples possible in everything.
Don’t just read these parenting tips put them into practice. Good parenting involves action.
6 Practical Tips for Long-distance God Parents
Marvia Lawes asked:
Every Godparent who lives in one country while their Godchild resides in another country must feel a little bit concerned about how they will do justice to their role. I felt the same way recently, when one of my dearest friends and colleague entrusted her precious firstborn daughter to me as one of her two Godparents.
The family resides in the Caribbean and I am in Central America. True, not too far away. Nevertheless, I am not in the same country and it is still going to be long-distance affair. As in any relationship, distance can make a negative impact.
Since being asked, I have been thinking about my role a lot. Moreover, I am accustomed to wearing the other shoe – giving parents advice on this issue. Therefore, I decided to revisit and listen to my own counsel. I believe it wise to take my own advice before all my older, and my newest, Godchildren decide to get rid of me.
Being a Godmother, or Godfather is far more serious than many people realize. I might be stating the obvious for some of you. However, the fact is too many persons (including some parents) tend to see this responsibility as a position of status and prestige, without realizing that an awesome responsibility has been placed in their hands. So I made up a list for myself and I’m sharing it with you.
6 Helpful Long- Distance God Parenting Tips
Attend First Ceremony – It doesn’t matter how far away you live. You should be present at this first ceremony of Baptism or Dedication. Some churches make this mandatory. My sister & colleague is Moravian and my presence is mandatory. I guess I won’t be missing this ceremony!
Make a Chart of your one or several God children- I have 6! I heard of this excellent idea and thought it was just so practical. Keep your chart in a prominent place. It can be a mini-one in your diary or a large one hanging from a wall in your bedroom or office. Use this chart to also boost your prayers for your Godchild.
List their names, birthday, date of Baptism or Dedication, other rites of passage like first day at school and so on. In this regard, you will need the help of the parents to send you informative updates and pictures.
Pray Regularly – Keep your Godchild(ren) on your prayer list and pray for them. Your role as Godparent is to offer spiritual nurture. It is not for buying expensive presents unlike what popular culture would have you think.
Maintain Contact and Communication – Even before the child is able to speak, ask the parents to put him or her on the phone so they get accustomed to hearing your voice. Trust me, your Godchild will recognize you by your voice the first time they physically meet you. Keep in contact by sending cards and letters on occasions such as the anniversary of their Baptism/Dedication, birthdays, illness, or to say ‘you are in my thoughts’.
Today’s children seem to be born knowing how to use a computer. They are more advanced that we the are. If you are reading this online, then perhaps you are not too ancient then. Keep in touch via the Internet by using email and Instant Messengers. This can turn out to be a helpful means of contact and your Godchild knows he or she has someone they can talk to besides their parents.
Spend Time With Your Godchild – Whenever possible spend time with the family of your Godchild and also invite them, or the child alone, to spend time with you. This might include Summer vacations or other school breaks and use of your vacation time.
Give Spiritually Nurturing Care and Gifts – Too often parents look for Godparents not for the spiritual care they can give, but for their capacity to buy their children expensive gifts. Those parents have missed the point of this religious role. When properly understood, God parents should appreciate their role primarily as support in spiritual education and nurture of children.
Even though you are far away, you can still give meaningful gifts that will help to affirm the spiritual care and education of your Godchild. It makes sense then that your gifts be mostly of a religious nature. This is not an easy choice when competing with violent video games, dolls that scream out commercialized versions of beauty, and other useless and psychologically damaging toys.
So, I hear the question every godparent must now be asking. Where on earth do I get these ’spiritual nurturing gifts’ that are not boring? Listen, that is a whole new story. I’m still searching so look out for my suggestions.
Happy Godparenting with renewed committment!
Every Godparent who lives in one country while their Godchild resides in another country must feel a little bit concerned about how they will do justice to their role. I felt the same way recently, when one of my dearest friends and colleague entrusted her precious firstborn daughter to me as one of her two Godparents.
The family resides in the Caribbean and I am in Central America. True, not too far away. Nevertheless, I am not in the same country and it is still going to be long-distance affair. As in any relationship, distance can make a negative impact.
Since being asked, I have been thinking about my role a lot. Moreover, I am accustomed to wearing the other shoe – giving parents advice on this issue. Therefore, I decided to revisit and listen to my own counsel. I believe it wise to take my own advice before all my older, and my newest, Godchildren decide to get rid of me.
Being a Godmother, or Godfather is far more serious than many people realize. I might be stating the obvious for some of you. However, the fact is too many persons (including some parents) tend to see this responsibility as a position of status and prestige, without realizing that an awesome responsibility has been placed in their hands. So I made up a list for myself and I’m sharing it with you.
6 Helpful Long- Distance God Parenting Tips
Attend First Ceremony – It doesn’t matter how far away you live. You should be present at this first ceremony of Baptism or Dedication. Some churches make this mandatory. My sister & colleague is Moravian and my presence is mandatory. I guess I won’t be missing this ceremony!
Make a Chart of your one or several God children- I have 6! I heard of this excellent idea and thought it was just so practical. Keep your chart in a prominent place. It can be a mini-one in your diary or a large one hanging from a wall in your bedroom or office. Use this chart to also boost your prayers for your Godchild.
List their names, birthday, date of Baptism or Dedication, other rites of passage like first day at school and so on. In this regard, you will need the help of the parents to send you informative updates and pictures.
Pray Regularly – Keep your Godchild(ren) on your prayer list and pray for them. Your role as Godparent is to offer spiritual nurture. It is not for buying expensive presents unlike what popular culture would have you think.
Maintain Contact and Communication – Even before the child is able to speak, ask the parents to put him or her on the phone so they get accustomed to hearing your voice. Trust me, your Godchild will recognize you by your voice the first time they physically meet you. Keep in contact by sending cards and letters on occasions such as the anniversary of their Baptism/Dedication, birthdays, illness, or to say ‘you are in my thoughts’.
Today’s children seem to be born knowing how to use a computer. They are more advanced that we the are. If you are reading this online, then perhaps you are not too ancient then. Keep in touch via the Internet by using email and Instant Messengers. This can turn out to be a helpful means of contact and your Godchild knows he or she has someone they can talk to besides their parents.
Spend Time With Your Godchild – Whenever possible spend time with the family of your Godchild and also invite them, or the child alone, to spend time with you. This might include Summer vacations or other school breaks and use of your vacation time.
Give Spiritually Nurturing Care and Gifts – Too often parents look for Godparents not for the spiritual care they can give, but for their capacity to buy their children expensive gifts. Those parents have missed the point of this religious role. When properly understood, God parents should appreciate their role primarily as support in spiritual education and nurture of children.
Even though you are far away, you can still give meaningful gifts that will help to affirm the spiritual care and education of your Godchild. It makes sense then that your gifts be mostly of a religious nature. This is not an easy choice when competing with violent video games, dolls that scream out commercialized versions of beauty, and other useless and psychologically damaging toys.
So, I hear the question every godparent must now be asking. Where on earth do I get these ’spiritual nurturing gifts’ that are not boring? Listen, that is a whole new story. I’m still searching so look out for my suggestions.
Happy Godparenting with renewed committment!
Parenting Tips – 3 Gifts We Must Give Our Children
Deanna Mascle asked:
Parenting is the most difficult, the most challenging, and the most important job we will ever have. So many of our children’s future successes and problems can stem from our success as parents. Yet fortunately we do not have to go it alone. We can learn from the successful parents around us, if we are fortunate including our own parents, and also learn from those less successful as well. In addition, we can learn many important lessons about parenting from our own children. If we only listen and pay attention they tell us so much about what they want and need from us as parents. While we can so often get caught up in the little details and daily grind of parenting, if we keep sight of three main goals then the rest will take care of itself. All our children really need from us are these three all-important gifts: our love, our care, and our time.
Love is the easiest and yet the most overlooked of the gifts we must give our children. We love our children. It is such an overwhelming emotion for us that we often forget that our children may not realize its depth and breadth. It is true for many of us that we did not realize how much our parents love us until we too became parents. Demonstrate through your actions and choices that you love your children. Show them and tell them how much you care. Do this with little gestures and big ones and do it every day. One certainty our children should possess as they grow and develop is that they are loved as this gives them a foundation and confidence that nothing else can.
Care is something we do all the time, so much so that it is often on autopilot. Folding clothes, picking up toys, packing lunches, and washing dishes. One of the ways to cope with these tasks is to put them in perspective. These boring, repetitive tasks are one of the ways we care for our children and by doing them we are showing our care. But do not neglect the emotional and cognitive care along with the physical care. It is easy while making sure our children are fed, clothed, and washed to overlook the emotional care and cognitive care children also need. Teach your child how to handle emotions like fear and jealousy by talking things through and modeling good emotional behavior. Make sure your child is challenged intellectually through conversation, games and books.
Time is the most precious of all gifts and yet so many parents short their children of their time. Time is spent at work and at various life activities from home maintenance to recreation, but simply giving your child the gift of your time and attention every day can reap tremendous rewards. Giving your child your time and attention is the surest way to demonstrate to your child that he or she is loved. You can multi-task while spending time with your child if the task is something that the child can be involved in or adjacent to — and the task is something mindless so you can focus on the child. For example, children can help with household chores or can talk or read to you while you fold laundry or wash dishes. Simply making a point of spending time with your child every day where your primary focus is on the child can reap tremendous rewards today and tomorrow.
There are no perfect parents, so striving for perfection is setting yourself up for failure. All you can do is try your best and give your child the gifts of love, care, and time. If you do then you will be a good parent. It really is that simple.
Parenting is the most difficult, the most challenging, and the most important job we will ever have. So many of our children’s future successes and problems can stem from our success as parents. Yet fortunately we do not have to go it alone. We can learn from the successful parents around us, if we are fortunate including our own parents, and also learn from those less successful as well. In addition, we can learn many important lessons about parenting from our own children. If we only listen and pay attention they tell us so much about what they want and need from us as parents. While we can so often get caught up in the little details and daily grind of parenting, if we keep sight of three main goals then the rest will take care of itself. All our children really need from us are these three all-important gifts: our love, our care, and our time.
Love is the easiest and yet the most overlooked of the gifts we must give our children. We love our children. It is such an overwhelming emotion for us that we often forget that our children may not realize its depth and breadth. It is true for many of us that we did not realize how much our parents love us until we too became parents. Demonstrate through your actions and choices that you love your children. Show them and tell them how much you care. Do this with little gestures and big ones and do it every day. One certainty our children should possess as they grow and develop is that they are loved as this gives them a foundation and confidence that nothing else can.
Care is something we do all the time, so much so that it is often on autopilot. Folding clothes, picking up toys, packing lunches, and washing dishes. One of the ways to cope with these tasks is to put them in perspective. These boring, repetitive tasks are one of the ways we care for our children and by doing them we are showing our care. But do not neglect the emotional and cognitive care along with the physical care. It is easy while making sure our children are fed, clothed, and washed to overlook the emotional care and cognitive care children also need. Teach your child how to handle emotions like fear and jealousy by talking things through and modeling good emotional behavior. Make sure your child is challenged intellectually through conversation, games and books.
Time is the most precious of all gifts and yet so many parents short their children of their time. Time is spent at work and at various life activities from home maintenance to recreation, but simply giving your child the gift of your time and attention every day can reap tremendous rewards. Giving your child your time and attention is the surest way to demonstrate to your child that he or she is loved. You can multi-task while spending time with your child if the task is something that the child can be involved in or adjacent to — and the task is something mindless so you can focus on the child. For example, children can help with household chores or can talk or read to you while you fold laundry or wash dishes. Simply making a point of spending time with your child every day where your primary focus is on the child can reap tremendous rewards today and tomorrow.
There are no perfect parents, so striving for perfection is setting yourself up for failure. All you can do is try your best and give your child the gifts of love, care, and time. If you do then you will be a good parent. It really is that simple.
