George Key asked:


Although parenting advice to kids and teems is difficult and many times ineffective, there are some tips in order to persuade them to stay away from tobacco. To increase the chances that your child does not start smoking, it is important that you begin to start sharing with your child the dangers of smoking as early as possible. Kindergarten is not too young to begin. It is often during this time that your child may be learning about basic safety in regards to drugs, strangers and fire. You speaking to them about smoking will fit right in.

It is believed that nearly 20% of adolescents smoke in the United States. This is an alarming figure and puts millions of adolescents, teens and their family’s at risk for smoke related diseases. To curb this, it is important for parents to take an active role in their children’s life. This means paying attention to them, spending time with them and being involved in their world. The Center of Disease Control believes that these simple acts will help your child overcome peer pressure and will enable them to say no to at-risk, dangerous behaviors. Speaking with children, no matter how old they are about the illnesses and dangers associated with smoking can help them to not ever start smoking. If your child has already started smoking, you should still remind them of the dangers, not allow it in your home and provide them with help and support when they express that they are ready to quit. If a family member or friend has suffered from some sort of smoke-related illness, be sure to discuss this with your children.

Having a child that smokes can be very distressing to a parent who understands the dangers of smoking. If your child is underage, do not allow them to smoke at all and especially not in your home or around you. Be sure to make sure that they understand the dangers of smoking, a field trip to the hospital to see patients that are hospitalized for smoke-related illnesses might be in order.

If your child is older and no longer lives in your home, you may not have as much control. However, you can forbid them from smoking in your home and when you are around. Also be sure to be supportive when they express an interest in giving up smoking.

Gareth Williams asked:


As a parent, it is important to get good information when it comes to parenting your children. There is nothing worse than reading articles on parenting that give bad advice and you read it not knowing that the article is biased in some way. Parents rely on friend’s advice, parenting focused magazine articles and books for advice on how to handle the challenges that parenting throws at them. It is important to make sure that you know who the information is being written by, what is their parenting philosophy and so forth. Last, but, not least, if something doesn’t sit right in your heart then don’t take the advice. Your intuition is usually right and specific advice is simply not going to work for everyone.

One of the best articles on parenting that I have read suggested that I should “Watch the baby and not the clock” in regards to a feeding schedule. Many people have differing opinions about how often babies should nurse or bottle feed. It is important to know that breastfed babies digest human milk faster than formula so they will usually want to nurse sooner than a bottle fed baby will want to eat. No amount of articles on parenting should make you value the advice over hearing the cry of your child cuing you that they are hungry. Every baby is different, and will have a different feeding schedule. As the baby gets older their schedule will change as well to meet their nutritional needs at that time.

The best advice to give a new mother is that when someone is offering advice, and they will get a lot of it, just to take the advice and use what works for her and to leave the rest. The same goes for articles on parenting as well. Parents can pick out pieces of information that are useful to them and leave the rest of the information that they don’t agree with or that they believe will not meet their family’s needs. She may even decide to do a little more research on the issue to make any more informed decision. Parenting is such a hard job, and new moms have so many doubts, fears and questions. It is important to have a more experienced mother that you respect available to bounce ideas off of and to get advice from.

Parenting advice has changed over the years. Pediatricians are constantly updating parents with new information and ideas through articles on parenting. It is important to stay current with parenting information, but not to forget that this is your baby and you are ultimately responsible for their well being.

Beverly OMalley asked:


We all want parenting advice that provides us with the tools we need to raise happy healthy children.

Good parenting does not result from using a standardized recipe or cookie cutter approach to the many challenges our offspring present to us. Good parenting really comes from learning as you go.

Ask yourself, “What kind of adults do I want my children to be?” and then set about to create the circumstances that will allow that to happen. You want your children to be “happy” but if you focus on making your children happy you will not be providing them with the skills they need to create their own happiness.

What you need to be doing is raising your children to be responsible, reliable, and productive adults.

Here are some parenting tips on how to raise responsible, reliable, and productive citizens for tomorrow’s society.

Let your children make mistakes – your child can never learn how to make a good decision if he is not allowed to make a bad one. As the parent you have more wisdom and knowledge about risk and it is your responsibility to assess the possible risk and consequences of a bad decision. Give your child the responsibility for making decisions that have consequences which are of low risk and age appropriate. Parents need to give over the responsibility of decision making and control to the child. This needs to be timed properly not only for the child’s age level but also by the child’s individual maturity level and trustworthiness.

Do not rescue your children from the consequences of their own mistakes. If your child harms someone else with her actions she needs to apologize and if she breaks someone else’s property then she needs to replace it. This can start with children when they are very young. If your child is never connected to the consequences of her own actions she can never develop a sense of responsibility and accountability for what she does. Your child has to make reparations for harm they caused someone else and it is highly recommended that you are involved in that reparation but only in a way that assists her. Your child should be involved from start to finish in carrying out the necessary apology or actions needed to make things right again.

Let your child see you make mistakes but more importantly let your child hear you talk about them and identify why that decision was wrong and what you learned from it. Then do not make the same mistake again! If you do not change your behaviour as a result of what you have learned your child will identify your insincerity and lack of integrity very quickly and know that your statements are meaningless. In short he will learn that you “talk the talk” but you do not “walk the walk”. Your child does not learn from your mistakes, your child learns by seeing you learn from your mistakes. Engaging your child in rationale analysis of why things went wrong will help them to develop skills of critical inquiry that will serve them well in adult life.

Take responsibility for your own mistakes. Most things that happen to you in life are the result of your own actions. If your child sees you taking responsibility she is less likely to see herself as a victim of circumstance and are more likely to feel empowered and in control of her own life.

Apologize when you are wrong. You cannot and should not expect yourself to be perfect. If you were wrong in your judgement say so. “I am so sorry I yelled at you like that, it was very unkind and I apologize. However, you did not follow the rules and so the punishment still stands.”

Teach your child how to ask for help. Perhaps the greatest life skill you can teach your child is that nobody can do everything by themselves all the time. We spend so much time trying to raise independent citizens of tomorrow we forget to teach our children how to ask for help. In order to be productive and positive citizens your child needs to know when he is out of his league and how to seek out help from those who are best equipped to help him. So many problems could be solved so easily if people would just recognize that they have a problem and seek out ways to prevent it from developing into something more complicated.



The best common sense parenting advice for raising your children to be reliable responsible adults? Be a good role model.

Like it or not your children will quite likely grow up to be just like you but in a slightly different package.

Joy Davenport asked:


he secret to successful parenting? That is something every parent wants to know. Parents everywhere spend countless hours trying to figure out how to be the best parent possible. There is no doubt that parenting is not easy. There is no handbook, but fortunately, there is parenting help in Louisiana. You can find out the secret to successful parenting as you read more below.

As a parent, you will teach your child many things. One of the most valuable things you can teach your child is self-discipline. When children can successfully discipline themselves, they will know how to avoid trouble and they will know how to act when you are not around.

When their parents are not around nothing is worse than children who act up in public or who are unruly. Most likely you have experienced somebody else\’s child who refuses to be good. This is an example of how children act when they do not have self-discipline.

Many virtues can be obtained by your child if you teach them self-discipline. Your child will be respectful of others, stay out of trouble and avoid bad situations. Your child will learn to be a good problem solver, learn critical thinking skills and stay out of trouble at school. The acquistion of self-discipline is a skill that will benefit your child their entire life.

You might not know what to do to help your child develop self-discipline. Parenting help in Louisiana can help you It is never a bad thing to ask for parenting help. If your willing to work at it, that’s the first step in trying to be a good parent.

Helping your child develop self-discipline starts with encouraging them in everything they do. You should always encourage them to stick with things and not quit or give up. You should offer them encouragement to develop their problem solving skills so they can complete tasks they start.

You should help your child develop an sense of responsibility. Give them chores and make them responsible for their own chores. If they have a pet then make them responsible for the pet. Avoid over coddling your child. Teach them that they are responsible for their own actions.

Self-discipline also comes from learning to make choices. If a child is aware that they face the consequences of what they do, then they have the basis to make good decisions. Do not shelter your child from bad things. Let them experience things so that they can learn the good from the bad. In order to learn how to make the right choices by themselves, you need to stop making choices for them.

You will not always be there to help your child. You have to teach your child the skills they will need to stay safe, be happy, healthy and to be a productive member of society. Getting bad grades in school, making bad choices and lacks self-control, are children that get into problems. You want the best for your child and through parenting help in Louisiana, you can ensure that.

The parenting advice has given you some great ideas and also some great advice so you can become more successful being a parent. Your goal as a parent should be to guide your child to being a productive and successful adult. when you seek out parenting help and do your best to learn the things you can do to raise great kids.

Bryan Burbank asked:


One of the hardest things that you can do after you have had a divorce is to explain to your children that mommy and daddy are no longer living together.  Parenting after a divorce is very difficult and it takes time to learn exactly what to say to your kids.  Remember you’re not always going to say the right thing all the time so do not beat yourself up.  It is a learning process and within time your children will understand what it means to have parents who have gone through a divorce.  The most important thing you can do is parents is to work together to help ease the children of any pain they may have.

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In some cases it is not easy to work with the other parent because they may be mad and resentful to you.  In this case the best thing you can do is explain to your child how much you love them and that things will be okay.  When we get married we never expect that we are going to have to deal with the divorce but in light of these things do happen. You should never blame your child or treat them as they do not matter to you.  Even if you’re upset with your ex never get your child involved in disputes that you have with them.

Find Tips: After a Divorce

Remember that parenting after a divorce can be a hard thing for you to do; in time you will learn how to talk to your kids.  It is not always going to be easy but being honest and letting them know exactly how you feel can be the best way to heal any pain they may have.

andrew.regan.2006@googlemail.com asked:

Every year of a child’s young life can be a challenge to work through for the parents as well as the child, and learning how to deal with specific situations as they arise can be tricky. After all, no one gives you a manual on how to be a good parent when your little bundle of joy arrives.

The terrible twos can be a particularly challenging time, for example, and having reliable sources of information to consult for advice and suggestions on how to deal with specific parenting issues can be a real help. This is particularly the case when you don’t know of any other parents who have children of a similar age to yours.

Thankfully this kind of information is easier to access now than it has ever been before – and it’s all due to the power of the internet, and its presence in the majority of homes.

Forums are an excellent way to find the advice you need, and get chatting with other parents who are probably going through exactly the same situation as you are. All around the world people are busy bringing up their children in the best way they know how, and there’s bound to be someone who can tell you what’s working for them.

Online forums are also a great way to make new friends, especially if you are parenting preschool children and you don’t have many opportunities to go out and meet up with parents that have kids of a similar age. The internet truly does bring the whole world closer – you could soon be chatting with someone on the other side of the world who has an excellent solution for helping their kids learn their ABC’s, for example.

Most forums are organised into sections, so you may even find the questions you want to ask have already been answered, and you can find the relevant information in the appropriate section. It’s a good idea to start by posting message in the sections that most appeal to you; for example if you are a single parent, start by browsing this section as there will be plenty of others there who are also bringing their children up single handed.

You might also be able to get in touch with other parents who live locally. Who knows, your online friends might be willing to start up a local group as well as having ‘virtual get togethers’ online.

The power of the internet to provide you with just the information you need to solve your parenting problems is very impressive. So the next time you are struggling to get your child to eat their dinner, why not log on and see who else is having the same problem? Perhaps you’ll be able to solve it together.

Joy Davenport asked:

The secret to successful parenting? That is something every parent wants to know. It is common for parents from all walks of life to need help in becoming better at what they do. There is no doubt that parenting is not easy. There is no handbook, but fortunately, there is parenting help in Iowa. Read more to find out how to be a sccuessful parent.

As a parent, you will teach your child many things. Self-disapline is one of the greatest values parents can instill in thier children. When children can successfully discipline themselves, they will know how to avoid trouble and they will know how to act when you are not around.

It is necessary that the parents have to teach self-discipline to their children so that the children can learn to reach bright future You may have had to cope with the problematic behavior of somebody else\’s child. This is an example of how children act when they do not have self-discipline.

Teaching your child self-discipline will give them many great virtues. Your child will be respectful of others, stay out of trouble and avoid bad situations. Your child will behave well during school hours, learn to think critically, and solve problems in a logical manner. Self-discipline is a skill that will benefit your child throughout their life.

You might not know what to do to help your child develop self-discipline. Parenting help in Iowa can help you. It never hurts to seek out parenting advice. It just shows that you want to be the best parent and that you are willing to work at it.

Encouraging your youngster in all aspects of life will help them learn self control. Encourgement is always the way to go not allowing one to give in or leave. You should encourage them to use their problem solving skills so they can always finish what they start.

You should also foster a feeling of responsibility in your child. Give them chores and make them responsible for their own chores. If they have a pet then make them responsible for the pet. Avoid trying to do everything for your child. Teach them that they are responsible for their own actions.

We develop self-discipline through decision making processes. When a child knows that they will have to deal with the consequences of their actions, it helps them to learn to make good choices. Do not shelter your child from bad things. Let them experience things so that they can learn the good from the bad. If you make decisions for them, they will not learn what they need to know to make their own decisions.

You will not always be there to help your child. You have to teach your child the skills they will need to stay safe, be happy, healthy and to be a productive member of society. Children getting bad grades in school get into trouble and who lack self-discipline seem to make bad choices. Parenting in Iowa will show you how to get the very best for your offspring.

This parenting help has given you some great advice on the secret to successful parenting. To guide your child to being a productive and successful adult should be your goal as a parent. It is a long process, but it can be easier when you seek out parenting help and do your best to learn the things you can do to raise great kids.

Paul Banas asked:

Many fathers live a well-rounded healthy lifestyle with regular workouts that involve their kids. First-time dads who think a new baby will interfere with their exercise schedule need not sacrifice their workouts but do need to supplement their parenting skills to include exercising with their kids. The trick here is to come up with kid-friendly routines. These routines are equally rewarding and also help in establishing healthy habits among children.

In an interview to the Associated Press, Heidi Hill, author of Fit Family: The Infant, Toddler and Preschool Years ( Vitesse, 2008 ) explains how parents can hike, bike, run, and even kayak with their kids. Heidi and her husband, Tom have put this into practice by trying out many of these sports with their two daughters, aged 3 and 5 each. ”At the get-go, a lot of it can be miserable. You really have to persevere and know that you’re teaching a lifestyle.”, says Hill.

In the beginning, dads could try to fast walk with a jog stroller or jog alongside their kids as they bike. The key lies in using the right equipment that is not too clunky. A trail-a-bike is a one-wheel option that can be attached to the back of dad’s bike.

Workouts are a great way for dads to bond with their kids. As kids grow older, the positive effects of having family workouts increases exponentially. Dads need to listen to some good parenting advice by self-educating themselves and planning the workout in advance to make the experience fun for the entire family.

Veronica Fisher asked:

Every parent knows that shopping with children can be very challenging. Tantrums can be excruciatingly plentiful in the shortest of shopping trips. However, parents can ensure a more peaceful supermarket excursion with the following guidelines.

1. If you’re planning to shop with your children, plan it ahead. Determine beforehand where you’ll be going and what you’ll be looking for. Inform your children the kind of shopping trip they can expect. But if your kid is not especially comfortable in supermarkets and tends to get cranky every three minutes, then it’s best to go shopping alone.

2. Shopping with your kids can be totally stressing. Before you go ahead with that shopping trip, be sure that you aren’t stressed out yourself, have eaten something and have the patience needed to survive the trip. Shopping with the kids is also easier if the children are well-rested and have been fed.

3. Shopping with children also mean that you have to be attentive to their needs. They might get hungry or thirsty so be sure to have a snack or drink on hand. Children may also be intimidated by the supermarket crowd and be overwhelmed by the surroundings, most especially when activity in the stores are hectic. Give them a reassuring hug once in a while.

4. Since children are innately curious beings, they might want to reach out for every colorful item that takes their fancy and play with it. Instead of scolding them, teach them how to hold it safely or inform them gently that they can only look at it and not touch it. While the item may not necessarily be part of your shopping list, it’s helpful to share in the child’s interest in it and explain what it is, what it is for and why it can’t go into the cart

5. If you’re shopping with pre-school children, get them involved in counting and choosing items. This will be a learning experience for them and would also keep their attention away from other unnecessary activities like reaching out for items you don’t have a need for.

6. When your children want something they can’t have, saying no without being subjected to temper tantrums can be mighty difficult. It might help to promise the kids that they can have it the next time you go shopping, but only when they promise to be good. When turning down your children, be sure to accompany the act with a smile and a hug.

7. If you have reached your limit, deal with your negative emotions positively. Go outside with your children, get refreshed and enjoy a few minutes of fresh air away from the shopping crowds. This will improve your shopping mood greatly.

8. If after all the well-meaning suggestions have been put to use and you still cannot stop your child from throwing tantrums, don’t force it. Postpone your shopping and tend to your child who might be feeling exhausted and just wants to go home. Pushing it would only lead to more stressful situations.

Shopping with children could be an unnerving experience. But by working their way around it and setting the pace appropriately, parents will find that even with the youngest child, shopping can be enjoyable. Plus, shopping is also a good opportunity for them to connect with their kids.

Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE asked:

Question: My son will be 4 in September. He is trying to remain a baby. We do not encourage any type of behavior that he should be past. For example, at daycare he will go into the infant area and ask for a bottle: He tries to get us to rock him to sleep at night and he is practically glued to me when we are home. I only work part time, and make it a point to spend one on one quality time with him. He does not want to try anything new. I have watched the other children in his daycare and most stare at him as if he is really weird. His swimming teacher thinks he has low self-esteem. How do I get him to move on and act more his age? — Frustrated Parents in Florida

Answer:

It is common for children to hold onto infancy or babyhood. Not every child is anxious to be a “big” boy or girl! Sometimes it means they have to let go of things they really like, like ******* on bottles, being rocked or not having to stop playing to use the potty.

There are two important rules to remember when dealing with this particular situation:

(a) Never ridicule a child who wants to re-experience babyhood by telling him to “grow up” or “quit acting like a baby.” While the child’s behavior, in itself, is not a sign of low self-esteem, such responses can damage the child’s sense of self-worth. Critical comments cause children to feel more insecure and increases their need for comfort and reassurance – which they try to meet in ways that have worked in the past – wanting to be held more, self-comforting with bottles, etc. This approach almost always backfires and can even lead to power struggles.

(b) Nudge, but don’t push. Nudging is a firm and gentle encouragement to take the next step. Pushing is an unrealistic pressured expectation to reach the final goal all at once. Being told one has to be a “big” boy or girl can actually feel like pressure to grow up — and many people resist pressure. The natural law of human behavior is to push back or insist even harder when someone is trying to force us to change or to do what they want. It often turns into a power struggle. When children are hesitant and truly scared of new experiences, we can nudge and encourage them to take the next step. We can read their reactions and be ready to back off a bit or slowly ease them into a new situation.

It’s important to understand what’s happening here, developmentally. In an excerpt from The Parent’s Toolshop: The Universal Blueprint for Building a Healthy Family, the author, Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE explains:

Growth occurs in waves. At each major developmental stage, children work through certain issues and tasks. There are natural ups-and-downs as children master these new skills. It is necessary for children to go through a temporary period of imbalance before moving to a new level. If they didn’t do this, they would have to immediately jump from one developmental stage to the next, with no transition period. This would be unnatural. Children often step back and regroup between their great spurts of learning. In the early years, these difficult periods often come at approximately six-month intervals, but even this time frame is not a hard and fast rule.

If things are going smoothly and suddenly our children’s behavior takes a downward dive, we want to consider what is happening with them developmentally. If we can’t identify any traumas or mistakes we are making, there is a good possibility that these children are getting ready to make a developmental leap and are entering this transition period. Many parents are concerned about these regressions, when children revert to old, outgrown habits. It is particularly helpful, during these times, to review literature about the developmental issues children face at that age. (The Parent’s Toolshop summarizes all the developmental stages children go through.)

As children prepare to leave infancy behind – forever – they often seek “one last try” at it, sometimes many “tries.” It is very common for children between the ages of 4 and 8 to “play baby.” They talk like babies, **** their thumbs (even if they never did before) and want to drink from bottles. It’s fun! Babies get extra attention and pampering older children don’t – and they miss it! When it seems like the regression is a “game,” we can let them “play” baby and respond in ways that reinforce their maturity. “It’s fun to pretend you are still a baby, isn’t it?” If we allow them to do it, but put time limits on how long they do it or maybe where they do it (at home but not in public), it helps them “get it out of their system” and behave age-appropriately more often and in more settings.

Something else to consider is whether your son’s hesitancy to try new things is simply his personality. Some children are so comforted by and comfortable with routines, that they have difficulty making transitions. We cannot change someone’s temperament, because much of it is determined by genetic factors, but we can influence how they use or channel their natural tendencies. In another excerpt from The Parent’s Toolshop, I explain several personality traits that can result in difficult behavior and offer suggestions for each. Here is what I suggest for this trait:

C Children have a hard time making transitions between activities. These children are uncomfortable with change and become upset in new and unfamiliar situations. Limit the number of transitions children must endure. Have consistent routines and as few surprises as necessary. Explain what will happen next and allow time for children to end one activity before moving to the next. Arrive early or visit ahead of time before expecting children to participate. Be encouraging, but don’t push too hard. With young children, use tangible time references they can understand. Older children with this trait can have difficulty adjusting to classroom changes if they haven’t learned effective coping strategies.

I would also add that you can suggest he “just try” something new and either set a reasonable limit like how many times he tries it, how long he tries it or when/where he tries it. It’s kind of like trying new foods. Just one bite now and then can help “break you in” to the idea and taste of the new experience. Often, children are just unsure about what to expect, so they would rather sit and watch for awhile to see how things work and get used to the idea. This is part of their learning style. They “wait and see” how it’s done and when they are ready to try it, they do it all at once. Think about when he started walking or finally started using the toilet. Is this what he did? If so, accept that this is his style of learning. He’ll do “it” (whatever “it” is) when he’s ready and is sure he’ll succeed.

Finally, try not to worry about children who still need a great deal of closeness, affection and reassurance at this age. They enjoy it – now. It’s a wonderful sign your child has bonded with you. You’ve done a “good job” as a parent to have a child who feels so reassured by your presence. Allow yourself to be “home base,” for them to touch now and then. And if they still want rocked at night or come to you for a dozen hugs in an hour, put things in perspective. Like many things in parenting, this too shall pass. And I guarantee there will come a day when you wish your son would want to give you a hug, sit on your lap or be with you – but it’s just not cool anymore. Save up these deposits in your “emotional paycheck” bank account, for there will be dry spells during the teen years, which also pass. Remind yourself that your son’s present behavior is temporary, typical for his age and nothing to be overly concerned about. I didn’t say it would be easy to deal with or that it will go away overnight. Like most parenting situations, we need to be patient and avoid reactions that can make matters worse. We want to respond in respectful, reassuring ways that nudge children to the next step of their development without coddling or allowing them to become overly dependent. It’s a fine line, but a clear line.

For more information about developmental stages, personality traits, building independence and helping children work through their feelings, I suggest you get and read The Parent’s Toolshop. Not only does it have 100+ skills and tips for 1000+ issues, but it will teach you the basic concepts and practical tools you need to feel more confident as a parent and to figure out on your own how to resolve any problem, using the unique “Universal Blueprint” problem-solving system it presents.

Do follow up with us and let us know how things work out. I’d be willing to bet your son is getting ready to “leap” developmentally and six months from now he will have moved beyond this stage. He’s just having a hard time “getting over the hump,” so be encouraging and reassuring as you nudge him along.