melinamenny asked:


You have made it through 40 weeks of anxiety studded waiting. Your baby has finally arrived and you are itching to try out your newly acquired parenting skills. But before you tumble into the glory and pain of parenting, it would help if you knew more about some of the most common mistakes parents make while bringing up young children.

When you look into the innocent little faces looking up at you with nothing but wonder in their eyes, it is easy to believe that your toddler is all innocence. This is the first mistake new parents make. Young infants are quite perceptive when it comes to people and surroundings. That is why your child is able to recognize its mother even before they open their eyes. From the time your child is born, they are watching the world with avid eyes and internalizing everything they see. So, as parents everything that you say and do is picked up by your child. Your child is watching, you had better pull your socks up!

According to a recent internet survey, most young parents are becoming more and more dependent on ‘Howto’ books and expert columns to look after their kids. While some amount of expert counseling from experienced doctors and child experts can help you understand your child and your problems, depending too much on third-party advice can be counter-productive. As a parent, nature has endowed you with an important monitoring system that helps you take the right decisions for your children: this is your inner radar or instinct, as we call it. It is important to tune in to your instinct and take independent decisions based on your observation, the individuality of your child and the circumstances. No guide or expert column can give you a customized solution for your problems. You learn as you go.

Proactive parenting is another skill that most parents need to learn as their child grows. Parents often complain that their young children refuse to do as they are told. This kind of behavior can begin right from the time your child is a toddler and continue into his late teens. Therefore, it pays to equip yourself with the know-how to avoid this confrontational attitude. The secret is to guide your child to acceptable behavior through positive persuasion, instead of forcing them towards it through the fear of punishment. For example, if your child throws a tantrum when you go shopping, it would be advisable to speak to your child before you leave home and explain to him that he will not get anything if he makes a scene but that you will buy him a candy if he allows you to shop peacefully. Reward, not punishment, should be the motivating force.

It is said that the few people who know perfect parenting are those with no children of their own. Parenting is a continuous learning process. And it is quite natural for parents to make mistakes. After all, we are all human. But it is important to understand your mistakes and rectify them in time so that you can have a rich and rewarding relationship with your child.

 

Veronica Fisher asked:

Every parent knows that shopping with children can be very challenging. Tantrums can be excruciatingly plentiful in the shortest of shopping trips. However, parents can ensure a more peaceful supermarket excursion with the following guidelines.

1. If you’re planning to shop with your children, plan it ahead. Determine beforehand where you’ll be going and what you’ll be looking for. Inform your children the kind of shopping trip they can expect. But if your kid is not especially comfortable in supermarkets and tends to get cranky every three minutes, then it’s best to go shopping alone.

2. Shopping with your kids can be totally stressing. Before you go ahead with that shopping trip, be sure that you aren’t stressed out yourself, have eaten something and have the patience needed to survive the trip. Shopping with the kids is also easier if the children are well-rested and have been fed.

3. Shopping with children also mean that you have to be attentive to their needs. They might get hungry or thirsty so be sure to have a snack or drink on hand. Children may also be intimidated by the supermarket crowd and be overwhelmed by the surroundings, most especially when activity in the stores are hectic. Give them a reassuring hug once in a while.

4. Since children are innately curious beings, they might want to reach out for every colorful item that takes their fancy and play with it. Instead of scolding them, teach them how to hold it safely or inform them gently that they can only look at it and not touch it. While the item may not necessarily be part of your shopping list, it’s helpful to share in the child’s interest in it and explain what it is, what it is for and why it can’t go into the cart

5. If you’re shopping with pre-school children, get them involved in counting and choosing items. This will be a learning experience for them and would also keep their attention away from other unnecessary activities like reaching out for items you don’t have a need for.

6. When your children want something they can’t have, saying no without being subjected to temper tantrums can be mighty difficult. It might help to promise the kids that they can have it the next time you go shopping, but only when they promise to be good. When turning down your children, be sure to accompany the act with a smile and a hug.

7. If you have reached your limit, deal with your negative emotions positively. Go outside with your children, get refreshed and enjoy a few minutes of fresh air away from the shopping crowds. This will improve your shopping mood greatly.

8. If after all the well-meaning suggestions have been put to use and you still cannot stop your child from throwing tantrums, don’t force it. Postpone your shopping and tend to your child who might be feeling exhausted and just wants to go home. Pushing it would only lead to more stressful situations.

Shopping with children could be an unnerving experience. But by working their way around it and setting the pace appropriately, parents will find that even with the youngest child, shopping can be enjoyable. Plus, shopping is also a good opportunity for them to connect with their kids.