George Key asked:


Although parenting advice to kids and teems is difficult and many times ineffective, there are some tips in order to persuade them to stay away from tobacco. To increase the chances that your child does not start smoking, it is important that you begin to start sharing with your child the dangers of smoking as early as possible. Kindergarten is not too young to begin. It is often during this time that your child may be learning about basic safety in regards to drugs, strangers and fire. You speaking to them about smoking will fit right in.

It is believed that nearly 20% of adolescents smoke in the United States. This is an alarming figure and puts millions of adolescents, teens and their family’s at risk for smoke related diseases. To curb this, it is important for parents to take an active role in their children’s life. This means paying attention to them, spending time with them and being involved in their world. The Center of Disease Control believes that these simple acts will help your child overcome peer pressure and will enable them to say no to at-risk, dangerous behaviors. Speaking with children, no matter how old they are about the illnesses and dangers associated with smoking can help them to not ever start smoking. If your child has already started smoking, you should still remind them of the dangers, not allow it in your home and provide them with help and support when they express that they are ready to quit. If a family member or friend has suffered from some sort of smoke-related illness, be sure to discuss this with your children.

Having a child that smokes can be very distressing to a parent who understands the dangers of smoking. If your child is underage, do not allow them to smoke at all and especially not in your home or around you. Be sure to make sure that they understand the dangers of smoking, a field trip to the hospital to see patients that are hospitalized for smoke-related illnesses might be in order.

If your child is older and no longer lives in your home, you may not have as much control. However, you can forbid them from smoking in your home and when you are around. Also be sure to be supportive when they express an interest in giving up smoking.

Paul Banas asked:


“Teens Don’t Like Adults” Myth

As a father of two teenage daughters (15 and 17) I have continually heard the comment that goes something along the lines of “Whoa, that’s a tough age. I guess you’ll get to talk to them again in six years!”

I have also run into numerous dads (moms too) that say, “Yeah, my kids don’t even want to be around me these days. They are so into their friends.”

The first comment is a myth. The second is a cop out.

Granted, teenagers want their independence, but they still want their parents in their lives. More on this later.

What I believe happens is that parents get intimidated and busy and stop taking the time to ask children simple, conversational questions about their lives.

Nothing can be more intimidating than walking into a room of seven teenagers talking about music or anything, and feeling completely outnumbered, out-cultured, and out of sorts. It is easier to walk away than say, “What’s going on?” It is easier to walk away than ask that new pimply-faced boy you haven’t seen before, “Where do you go to school? “How are the grades going? Where did you go to middle school?” This starts the dialogue. Walk into the teenage fray we must. Take a deep breath, walk in, and ask away!

Let’s face it: we parents are human beings too. And half the time these kid’s parents have stopped talking to them and their teachers are basically time police. You may be the first adult who has asked them a considered question in the last month. People, even teenagers, love to talk about themselves. So if you give them half a chance they will. You can become an oasis of freedom to talk about themselves. This goes for your own children as well. It doesn’t have to be an interrogation. Just a question about school, about a friend, about music. You don’t have to be cool or “in the know.” “Who is that group? Are they popular?” You don’t have to know that Eminem is back with Kim. The key, I believe, is to not give up on the initial push back – or non-push back in the case of teenagers. They won’t be forthcoming. They won’t answer. They may shrug and say “Oh, nothing.” But believe me they want to talk. They are dying to talk. Even if they don’t.

Some how to’s:

1. Be the house they can come to. Let kids gather at your house. Anytime.

2. Food. Have lots of food. Kids (especially boys) love food. Don’t take, “I’m not hungry,” for an answer. Teenagers are always hungry. Food is the lubricant for talk.

3. Don’t be judgmental. I am not saying to let them have drugs in your house. But don’t let the disapproval of a little tattoo or funky hair on your kids friends show on your face.

4. In and out. Don’t hover. Come in, ask a few questions. Then get out. Let them breath.

5. Rules are OK. I like to keep them reciprocal. I respect you. You respect me is my favorite. I don’t talk to you that way, you don’t talk to me that way.

One last word on kids wanting you in their lives: Have you ever met a thirty year old that said, “I sure wish my parents hadn’t been in my life when I was a teenager.” I haven’t. Mostly we hear the opposite. Kids might be confused, they might even be angry. They may even be embarrassed by you – but then again everyone’s parents are an embarrassment. But, you are like the old best friend that you haven’t seen in ten years. Even though they would never tell you, your kids want to see you and most importantly, talk to you.

“Teens Don’t Like Adults” is a Myth. Don’t buy into it. Read a compilation of all the great parenting advice that received from readers over the years.

Bryan Burbank asked:


With a divorce rate of more than 50% in our country the chance that you will remarry and have step children is a pretty sure bet. It does not have to be the difficult situation it is portrayed in the movies and on television. It can be a rewarding and fulfilling with just a little effort. Like anything worthwhile you have to work at it. If you follow some of the steps below it may make for a much more pleasant family experience.

Get Free: Step Parent Advice

First, keep in mind that you are not the child’s real parent and that that they do have their real parent and you do not want to try and take their place. You must forge your own relationship and not try to replace an existing relationship.

How to: Get Divorce Help

Secondly, Start by establishing special things that you and the child can do together that you do not do with anyone else. Making them feel that they are needed for themselves and you are not just trying to be nice. For instance maybe you and the child can hang Christmas lights together and this can become your thing.

Next, Never try to compete with the child’s real parent, you will never win. They will always be loyal to their real parent, as they should be. As mad as you may be sometimes, don’t say bad or hurtful things about their parent in front of them. Always give their parent the benefit of the doubt. Never make yourself the good one and their parent the bad one.

Lastly, always make them feel a part of the family. If there are other children, make sure your treat all of them equally. If the child needs some space, give them some time to themselves. It is very hard for kids to all of a sudden have a new parent and at the same time have to share their existing parent with a stranger. Blended families can work just have patience.

Sarah Beldo asked:


The current economic downturn has taken a toll on many aspects of American life, from the way we spend our leisure time to our hopes for the future.

Unless they are very young, it is impossible to completely shield kids from the effects of a struggling economy on the family finances – after all, stories about job loss and foreclosure fill the headlines on a daily basis.

And, in fact, a lot of experts’ parenting advice says it is a good idea to be honest with your children about money – without going overboard.

For instance, you could explain that they may have to wait longer to get that expensive toy because – like a lot of other families – you have had to deal with a lot of extra costs this year.

The key is to be open with the little ones without being scary. Make sure you are explaining things at an age-appropriate level and reassure them soundly that they should not be worried.

Talking to your kids about financial struggles can be stressful, but there are also opportunities to use your parenting skills to yield some positive results.

For example, has there ever been a better time to show your children – firsthand – that sound economic behavior such as spending within your means and saving for the future has benefit? And that delayed gratification can actually be rewarding?

There is more to be cheerful about. Many have suggested that as a result of the recession, hands-on parenting skills will become the norm, with families spending more time together and enjoying inexpensive and creative activities.

Libraries, for example, have reported growing numbers of families using their services, particularly to attend story time and to check out DVDs and books.

And in a holiday season in which retail sales are dismal at best, sales of family-centered video games – such as those for the Nintendo Wii platform – are managing to grow, while traditional board games remain resilient.

It just goes to show that with good parenting skills and the right attitude, your family can grow strong enough to withstand any financial storm.

melinamenny asked:


You have made it through 40 weeks of anxiety studded waiting. Your baby has finally arrived and you are itching to try out your newly acquired parenting skills. But before you tumble into the glory and pain of parenting, it would help if you knew more about some of the most common mistakes parents make while bringing up young children.

When you look into the innocent little faces looking up at you with nothing but wonder in their eyes, it is easy to believe that your toddler is all innocence. This is the first mistake new parents make. Young infants are quite perceptive when it comes to people and surroundings. That is why your child is able to recognize its mother even before they open their eyes. From the time your child is born, they are watching the world with avid eyes and internalizing everything they see. So, as parents everything that you say and do is picked up by your child. Your child is watching, you had better pull your socks up!

According to a recent internet survey, most young parents are becoming more and more dependent on ‘Howto’ books and expert columns to look after their kids. While some amount of expert counseling from experienced doctors and child experts can help you understand your child and your problems, depending too much on third-party advice can be counter-productive. As a parent, nature has endowed you with an important monitoring system that helps you take the right decisions for your children: this is your inner radar or instinct, as we call it. It is important to tune in to your instinct and take independent decisions based on your observation, the individuality of your child and the circumstances. No guide or expert column can give you a customized solution for your problems. You learn as you go.

Proactive parenting is another skill that most parents need to learn as their child grows. Parents often complain that their young children refuse to do as they are told. This kind of behavior can begin right from the time your child is a toddler and continue into his late teens. Therefore, it pays to equip yourself with the know-how to avoid this confrontational attitude. The secret is to guide your child to acceptable behavior through positive persuasion, instead of forcing them towards it through the fear of punishment. For example, if your child throws a tantrum when you go shopping, it would be advisable to speak to your child before you leave home and explain to him that he will not get anything if he makes a scene but that you will buy him a candy if he allows you to shop peacefully. Reward, not punishment, should be the motivating force.

It is said that the few people who know perfect parenting are those with no children of their own. Parenting is a continuous learning process. And it is quite natural for parents to make mistakes. After all, we are all human. But it is important to understand your mistakes and rectify them in time so that you can have a rich and rewarding relationship with your child.

 

Beverly OMalley asked:


We all want parenting advice that provides us with the tools we need to raise happy healthy children.

Good parenting does not result from using a standardized recipe or cookie cutter approach to the many challenges our offspring present to us. Good parenting really comes from learning as you go.

Ask yourself, “What kind of adults do I want my children to be?” and then set about to create the circumstances that will allow that to happen. You want your children to be “happy” but if you focus on making your children happy you will not be providing them with the skills they need to create their own happiness.

What you need to be doing is raising your children to be responsible, reliable, and productive adults.

Here are some parenting tips on how to raise responsible, reliable, and productive citizens for tomorrow’s society.

Let your children make mistakes – your child can never learn how to make a good decision if he is not allowed to make a bad one. As the parent you have more wisdom and knowledge about risk and it is your responsibility to assess the possible risk and consequences of a bad decision. Give your child the responsibility for making decisions that have consequences which are of low risk and age appropriate. Parents need to give over the responsibility of decision making and control to the child. This needs to be timed properly not only for the child’s age level but also by the child’s individual maturity level and trustworthiness.

Do not rescue your children from the consequences of their own mistakes. If your child harms someone else with her actions she needs to apologize and if she breaks someone else’s property then she needs to replace it. This can start with children when they are very young. If your child is never connected to the consequences of her own actions she can never develop a sense of responsibility and accountability for what she does. Your child has to make reparations for harm they caused someone else and it is highly recommended that you are involved in that reparation but only in a way that assists her. Your child should be involved from start to finish in carrying out the necessary apology or actions needed to make things right again.

Let your child see you make mistakes but more importantly let your child hear you talk about them and identify why that decision was wrong and what you learned from it. Then do not make the same mistake again! If you do not change your behaviour as a result of what you have learned your child will identify your insincerity and lack of integrity very quickly and know that your statements are meaningless. In short he will learn that you “talk the talk” but you do not “walk the walk”. Your child does not learn from your mistakes, your child learns by seeing you learn from your mistakes. Engaging your child in rationale analysis of why things went wrong will help them to develop skills of critical inquiry that will serve them well in adult life.

Take responsibility for your own mistakes. Most things that happen to you in life are the result of your own actions. If your child sees you taking responsibility she is less likely to see herself as a victim of circumstance and are more likely to feel empowered and in control of her own life.

Apologize when you are wrong. You cannot and should not expect yourself to be perfect. If you were wrong in your judgement say so. “I am so sorry I yelled at you like that, it was very unkind and I apologize. However, you did not follow the rules and so the punishment still stands.”

Teach your child how to ask for help. Perhaps the greatest life skill you can teach your child is that nobody can do everything by themselves all the time. We spend so much time trying to raise independent citizens of tomorrow we forget to teach our children how to ask for help. In order to be productive and positive citizens your child needs to know when he is out of his league and how to seek out help from those who are best equipped to help him. So many problems could be solved so easily if people would just recognize that they have a problem and seek out ways to prevent it from developing into something more complicated.



The best common sense parenting advice for raising your children to be reliable responsible adults? Be a good role model.

Like it or not your children will quite likely grow up to be just like you but in a slightly different package.

Paul Wilson asked:


The birth of a child changes lives forever. Becoming a parent brings with it several concerns and responsibilities. And, the central concern becomes “effective parenting.” While parenting comes naturally to most, the many concerns of the modern world and it’s fast paced existence make parenting a many tiered concern.

Parenting in simple terms just means loving your child, and teaching him to be a rounded and caring individual. Children need understanding, love, as well as a certain guiding hand which will help them make appropriate choices.

The keys to effective parenting are:



Understand that you child is an individual with the ability to think. Never try and mold a child into what you imagine to be the right mold for him or her. Every child has certain inborn talents and must be given the opportunity to discover their own identity and personality.



Instill in the child a sense of self confidence and trust in you. They must know that at any time they can turn to you for advice and help. Help the child discover themselves, their inner talents and strengths. Keep all avenues of conversation open. Listen to what a child has to say. You will be surprised at how much children know today.



Nurture your child’s talents and give them the space and opportunity to fly with the wind and touch the skies. Never try and push a child into a study course or profession they are not comfortable with let the child find its own level.



Reassure the child that he has your unconditional love and support. Your love is not a measure of the child’s behavior, performance, or achievements.



Freedom needs limits. Being understanding and lenient does not mean running wild. Children need rules to work under as well as a pre-determined schedule. This instills in them a feeling of security as well as discipline. So, a parent must wield the carrot and stick but subtly not like a military general or great dictator.



The adage, spare the rod and spoil the child is valid. What a parent needs to do is use positive methods to discipline a child. Never beat or abuse a child but devise a way in which a child looses certain privileges when he or she behaves badly or oversteps limits. Decide with the child whether it should be TV privileges, or pizza treats, or movies, or visits to the mall. Many parents find “grounded” works well.



Create bonds that a strong and will stand the vicissitudes of time. Be warm, share interests, spend time together, establish routines and rituals, be vigilant and pick up clues when a child is upset or angry. Keep lines of communication open, a child must be able to come and share is troubles and problems with you without hesitation.



Being a parent is not about providing well, giving pocket money, or satisfying material needs. It is about creating love, understanding, and trust. Bonds that are formed in the early years of life will last a life time of good times and bad. It is important for parents to extend a warm hand of friendship.

Anirban Bhattacharya asked:




Parenting is a vastly important function that’s required to be performed in order to ensure better upbringing of a child. It is necessary for parents to learn the right kind of parenting so as to make the child confident and to face the challenges of life strongly.

Approaching a parenting center would be a wise decision for parents where they will be guided in a right direction as to what are the best ways to up bring a child. The parenting center is completely dedicated to help parents in becoming a successful family guardian.

The parenting center helps with professional counseling, expert parenting advice, educational classes, children management information and co-parenting. Such assistance will help you to become a much more refined and managed parent to build a dynamic personality of your child.

It is a fact that all kids do not behave in a same way. Each kid has different behavioral patterns from the other kid. If some kids are sensitive by nature there are other kids who are aggressive and violent in behavior. The parenting center educates the parents about how they should tackle each child differently.

The parenting centers make you aware of the importance of listening, watching and learning while dealing with your children. The experts of a parenting center will give you parenting advice on dealing with child’s emotional, physical and mental development without building unrealistic expectations from them. Each child has his or her own capabilities, talents and interests. As per true parenting, it is not wise to force your child to become a doctor if he has an interest in painting. The parenting center will guide you to analyze your child’s interest and encourage your child in the same.

Also, one of the common problems faced in a family is communication gap between parents and kids. The experts of the parenting center will give you important tips on how to narrow down this gap in a healthy manner so that your child can express his or her emotions freely before you.

If parents are working, the best parenting advice will get in these centers is how to take some time out of your life so that you can spend some quality time with your kids. The parenting center also organizes camps, classes and work hours from time to time in which the parents can spend a dedicated time with their children.

Pierre Du Plessis asked:


Research on the internet about available parenting advice and information for parents on how to successfully rear and treat babies, children, pre-teens and adolescent teenagers, has revealed a wide and extensive database of articles and products on the subjects of successful child development, successful child rearing and successful parental influence.

One can find informative literature on most topics dealing with the problems associated with the normal developmental stages of childhood, including treatment of child health disorders.

Most parents are fit and equipped to deal with child health related matters such as child nutrition and child illnesses, due to the abundant availability of facilities and information on these subjects from hereditary word of mouth contacts, clinics, health centres, the pharmaceutical industry and the medical profession.

Child cognitive, intellectual and psychological development can be a culmination of genes, circumstances, environment and parental influence, of which parental influence is the most dominant and critical factor to impact on child development and behaviour. With the right knowledge, parental influence can also be the easiest to apply for the beneficial development of cognitive, intellectual and psychological processes in children.

Most parents are not equipped to use parental influence in the best positive way. The reason behind this is simply because they marry young, have children and are then caught up in the everyday chores of child rearing and financial survival, deterring them from finding time to equip themselves with the necessary knowledge, to impact positively on child cognitive, intellectual and psychological development. Therefore child development is mostly a result of accidental development by prevailing haphazard circumstances and child inner-self choices.

Child development is not a sole responsibility of schools and teachers. Children are far more influenced by parents than by teachers. Parental influence is the single most important factor in the development of children, especially so in the early stages of development.

Most parents, after years of parenting, when their children have already reached adulthood, when reflecting back in time, say they wish they could do it over again. If they could do it over again, they think they could do a better job of parenting, with all the knowledge, experience and wisdom they have accumulated over the years. If they could only possess the knowledge earlier, when their children needed it the most, their children could also have ended up being stronger and better persons.

Information for parents are now more readily available, thanks to the internet. The information covering all the stages of child development, from birth to adulthood, are however, widely spread out in different pockets on different web sites all over the internet and cannot be accessed without extensive research and cost. Leaders Circle Family Web Club has therefore bridged the gap by bundling products together, to cover all the stages of successful child development, successful child rearing and successful parental influence, in one place.

Chris Lowrey asked:


Oh, to remember the days of young love… The twinge you were feeling when getting ready for your date. The anticipation of the kiss.  The emptiness when you were apart.  The giggles over their little habits.  The comfortable silence. 

 

Then the silence.

 

Of course your marriage evolved into a much more meaningful state. And, the dedication and loyalty that you have now doesn’t even compare.  The love has enriched and strengthened. 

 

There truly is no comparison.  Marital love is above and beyond more rewarding and comforting.  And, in a family, of course the kids come first, in most things you do.  But, wouldn’t it be nice to mix in some excitement as a couple?

 

The best parenting advice anyone can give or receive is:

 

Keep your marriage alive and well

 

The majority of parents recognize the need for “together” time.  Most even attempt at making the ‘night out without the kids’ a serious thought and often an attempted gesture.  A few absolutely commit to ‘alone’ time.  Does it always help?

 

Not necessarily.  A night out on the town with your significant other is important, no doubt.  But, too many times parents fall into the ‘okay, now what’ trap.  Out to dinner, you have caught up on the kids, shared the office gossip or complaints of the day, discussed the weather and soon run out of things to talk about.

 

Instead of a dinner date, once in awhile, plan an adventure.  Pick something one or both of you have thought of doing but never dedicated the time or money for.  Maybe you have always wanted to fly in a hot air balloon, rock climb, learn to ballroom dance, join a cooking class, take a ride on a dinner boat, go deep sea fishing or anything else that might suit your fancy.

 

The actual event is truly the least important aspect.  What really matters is that you both are planning and preparing together.  And, you are soon creating a memory and an additional connection.  Life can become very routine.  Don’t let your marriage. 

 

 

So, parenting tip 101:

 

Figure out something exciting to do.  Plan it together.  Do it together.  And, remember it together!  Keep the relationship fresh. 

 

The adventure does not need to cost a lot of money nor does it need to require a lot of time.  The actual adventure can be running through the park, without stopping.  That might mean jogging together around the block for several weeks in preparation.  It might also mean taking the kids to the Grandparents and biking that 30 mile trail you have longed to see outside of car windows. 

 

The whole idea is to put some excitement back into your lives.  Remember what it is what like to actually have fun together and enjoy each other’s company.  Laugh together. 

 

Your family unit may focus on the family at every free moment you have.  Your parenting style may not always have room for the married couple.  But, you must make time.

 

Families are all about love and commitment.  Isn’t that a great lesson to teach your children?  Making time for yourselves, as a couple, is truly a gift to your children.  They see their parents happy.  The household is happy.  What a blessing!