melinamenny asked:


You have made it through 40 weeks of anxiety studded waiting. Your baby has finally arrived and you are itching to try out your newly acquired parenting skills. But before you tumble into the glory and pain of parenting, it would help if you knew more about some of the most common mistakes parents make while bringing up young children.

When you look into the innocent little faces looking up at you with nothing but wonder in their eyes, it is easy to believe that your toddler is all innocence. This is the first mistake new parents make. Young infants are quite perceptive when it comes to people and surroundings. That is why your child is able to recognize its mother even before they open their eyes. From the time your child is born, they are watching the world with avid eyes and internalizing everything they see. So, as parents everything that you say and do is picked up by your child. Your child is watching, you had better pull your socks up!

According to a recent internet survey, most young parents are becoming more and more dependent on ‘Howto’ books and expert columns to look after their kids. While some amount of expert counseling from experienced doctors and child experts can help you understand your child and your problems, depending too much on third-party advice can be counter-productive. As a parent, nature has endowed you with an important monitoring system that helps you take the right decisions for your children: this is your inner radar or instinct, as we call it. It is important to tune in to your instinct and take independent decisions based on your observation, the individuality of your child and the circumstances. No guide or expert column can give you a customized solution for your problems. You learn as you go.

Proactive parenting is another skill that most parents need to learn as their child grows. Parents often complain that their young children refuse to do as they are told. This kind of behavior can begin right from the time your child is a toddler and continue into his late teens. Therefore, it pays to equip yourself with the know-how to avoid this confrontational attitude. The secret is to guide your child to acceptable behavior through positive persuasion, instead of forcing them towards it through the fear of punishment. For example, if your child throws a tantrum when you go shopping, it would be advisable to speak to your child before you leave home and explain to him that he will not get anything if he makes a scene but that you will buy him a candy if he allows you to shop peacefully. Reward, not punishment, should be the motivating force.

It is said that the few people who know perfect parenting are those with no children of their own. Parenting is a continuous learning process. And it is quite natural for parents to make mistakes. After all, we are all human. But it is important to understand your mistakes and rectify them in time so that you can have a rich and rewarding relationship with your child.

 

Paul Wilson asked:


The birth of a child changes lives forever. Becoming a parent brings with it several concerns and responsibilities. And, the central concern becomes “effective parenting.” While parenting comes naturally to most, the many concerns of the modern world and it’s fast paced existence make parenting a many tiered concern.

Parenting in simple terms just means loving your child, and teaching him to be a rounded and caring individual. Children need understanding, love, as well as a certain guiding hand which will help them make appropriate choices.

The keys to effective parenting are:



Understand that you child is an individual with the ability to think. Never try and mold a child into what you imagine to be the right mold for him or her. Every child has certain inborn talents and must be given the opportunity to discover their own identity and personality.



Instill in the child a sense of self confidence and trust in you. They must know that at any time they can turn to you for advice and help. Help the child discover themselves, their inner talents and strengths. Keep all avenues of conversation open. Listen to what a child has to say. You will be surprised at how much children know today.



Nurture your child’s talents and give them the space and opportunity to fly with the wind and touch the skies. Never try and push a child into a study course or profession they are not comfortable with let the child find its own level.



Reassure the child that he has your unconditional love and support. Your love is not a measure of the child’s behavior, performance, or achievements.



Freedom needs limits. Being understanding and lenient does not mean running wild. Children need rules to work under as well as a pre-determined schedule. This instills in them a feeling of security as well as discipline. So, a parent must wield the carrot and stick but subtly not like a military general or great dictator.



The adage, spare the rod and spoil the child is valid. What a parent needs to do is use positive methods to discipline a child. Never beat or abuse a child but devise a way in which a child looses certain privileges when he or she behaves badly or oversteps limits. Decide with the child whether it should be TV privileges, or pizza treats, or movies, or visits to the mall. Many parents find “grounded” works well.



Create bonds that a strong and will stand the vicissitudes of time. Be warm, share interests, spend time together, establish routines and rituals, be vigilant and pick up clues when a child is upset or angry. Keep lines of communication open, a child must be able to come and share is troubles and problems with you without hesitation.



Being a parent is not about providing well, giving pocket money, or satisfying material needs. It is about creating love, understanding, and trust. Bonds that are formed in the early years of life will last a life time of good times and bad. It is important for parents to extend a warm hand of friendship.

andrew.regan.2006@googlemail.com asked:

Every year of a child’s young life can be a challenge to work through for the parents as well as the child, and learning how to deal with specific situations as they arise can be tricky. After all, no one gives you a manual on how to be a good parent when your little bundle of joy arrives.

The terrible twos can be a particularly challenging time, for example, and having reliable sources of information to consult for advice and suggestions on how to deal with specific parenting issues can be a real help. This is particularly the case when you don’t know of any other parents who have children of a similar age to yours.

Thankfully this kind of information is easier to access now than it has ever been before – and it’s all due to the power of the internet, and its presence in the majority of homes.

Forums are an excellent way to find the advice you need, and get chatting with other parents who are probably going through exactly the same situation as you are. All around the world people are busy bringing up their children in the best way they know how, and there’s bound to be someone who can tell you what’s working for them.

Online forums are also a great way to make new friends, especially if you are parenting preschool children and you don’t have many opportunities to go out and meet up with parents that have kids of a similar age. The internet truly does bring the whole world closer – you could soon be chatting with someone on the other side of the world who has an excellent solution for helping their kids learn their ABC’s, for example.

Most forums are organised into sections, so you may even find the questions you want to ask have already been answered, and you can find the relevant information in the appropriate section. It’s a good idea to start by posting message in the sections that most appeal to you; for example if you are a single parent, start by browsing this section as there will be plenty of others there who are also bringing their children up single handed.

You might also be able to get in touch with other parents who live locally. Who knows, your online friends might be willing to start up a local group as well as having ‘virtual get togethers’ online.

The power of the internet to provide you with just the information you need to solve your parenting problems is very impressive. So the next time you are struggling to get your child to eat their dinner, why not log on and see who else is having the same problem? Perhaps you’ll be able to solve it together.